Me and my senile mobile

Me: I want to send an email.

Blackberry Bold, 4 years old: Ok.

Me: It didn't send.

B.: Did so, look.

Me: It didn't.

B.: Oh, right. Yep.

Me: Why??

B.:  *whistling and ignoring me, as I'm frantically digging around in the options menu*

Me: Ok, I have no choice but a hard reset then.

B.: Oh, come on.............. (the longest, most dramatic fading of the screen in the history of phones switching off)

Me: (switching back on) Right. Email. Resend.

B.: Done!

Me: (checking after two hours) Why does it now say 'all retries failed' after it was 'sent' before...?

B.: Don't know.

Me: Wait, where's the... what happened to the previous email I sent...?

B.: No idea.

Me: Send. This. Email. (googling Samsung phones)

B.: *SULK!* ('sorry but there is no internet access at the moment...')

Me: EMAIL.

B.: NO.

Me: (switching Blackberry off for an hour or so and back on)

B.: Hi! (Everything works just fine, email sent, emails received, internet access)

Me: *sigh*

B.: Oh and here's a bunch of emails from this morning! You're welcome.